Sexuality And Ageing

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Older People and Sexuality

Although the media and community tend to overlook older people's sexuality, we are all sexual beings - young and old. Many older people are sexually active or would like to be. The physical, emotional and social changes of ageing may make this difficult. Often, however, the biggest obstacle is other people's attitudes.

What is Sexuality?

There is more to sexuality than sex. Sexuality may be expressed in many ways, such as:

• love and friendship
• humour
• touch and sensuality, alone or with others   
• feelings, memories and fantasy
• appearance and grooming
• sexual activity

What's Normal?

There is really no such thing as normal! Sexuality is wonderfully diverse and may include:

• touch, affection and sexual desire
• romantic or erotic literature or art
• masturbation
• losing interest in sex or in certain kinds of sex
• still wanting intimacy following loss of a partner
• celibacy, homosexuality or bisexuality
• casual sex

Talking to grandchildren about sexuality can be difficult and embarrassing at times. If you find yourself at a loss for how to answer their questions, call FPQ for our Factsheets "Sexual Development in Early Childhood" and "Communicating with Children About Sexuality"

How Does Ageing Affect Sexuality?

Physical Changes

These vary from person to person. Sexual arousal may occur less often and more slowly. Men may find that erections are not as strong or frequent, and ejaculation may occur too soon. Women may experience vaginal dryness and difficulty reaching orgasm. Chronic illness, medications and surgery can affect sexual functioning.

Social and Emotional Changes

Sexuality may also be affected by some social and emotional changes that come with ageing, such as:

• more freedom
• more relaxed attitudes
• depression
• loneliness
• new home, interests and friends
• more time for a relationship
• loss of a partner
• retirement

Some people continue to feel attractive and confident as they age, while others find their self-image challenged.

Simple Solutions That May Help

Adjusting expectations, maintaining health and staying active may help build a positive self-image.

For women with vaginal dryness:

• try a water based lubricant
• spend more time on foreplay
• regular masturbation may help

For men with erectile problems:

• reduce smoking and drinking
• pleasure your partner with massage or oral sex
• regular masturbation may help
• ask about the side-effects of any medications

Professional Help

Many factors may be involved in sexual difficulties, so professional help can make a difference. A medical check-up may identify the cause of a problem. Treatments like Viagra or Hormone Replacement Therapy require a prescription. Counselling may help those who experience difficulty coping or depression. Discussing sex can be embarrassing at first, but it becomes easier with practice!

What About...

... New Relationships?

After the loss of a partner, some people prefer to remain alone. Others seek new relationships. These can be rewarding, but may also present challenges. People seeking friendships may fear unwanted sexual advances. Some may want a life partner, others seek casual sex. One thing is certain, there is no age limit to needing touch, conversation, laughter, caring and companionship.

.... Safe Sex?

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are a risk for everyone, regardless of age. Safe sex, such as using condoms, is recommended. FPQ can provide more information about safe sex.

... Sexuality in Residential Settings?

Attitudes of staff in nursing homes vary. However, many still do not accept sexuality in the aged, especially for gays and lesbians. When considering a residential setting, ask about their policy regarding sexuality.

Where to Go for Help

Family Planning Queensland advocates the right of older people to a full, healthy and sexual life. Older men and women are welcome at all FPQ clinics. FPQ Education Services offers workshops on sexuality to groups of older people or professionals who work with them.

Disclaimer

Family Planning Queensland (FPQ) has taken every care to ensure that the information contained in this publication is accurate and up-to-date at the time of being published. As information and knowledge is constantly changing, readers are strongly advised to confirm that the information complies with present research, legislation and policy guidelines. FPQ accepts no responsibility for difficulties that may arise as a result of an individual acting on the advice and recommendations it contains.